The Anatomy of a Great Online Dating Profile
5 essentials to getting your profile noticed, attracting higher quality matches, and swiping right for the last time.
Are you online dating?
Wait, let me go further.
Are you online dating in 2020 circa corona?
If you are, you’re a brave one.
And you’re in the right place.
Let me start with some disclaimers that are my opinion only.
Covid-19 is real. Your health and safety come first. I think dating right now is totally up to the individual and their circumstances. If you wish to forgo dating altogether during this really difficult season of life, I respect your decision. If you wish to date, I ask you to proceed with intentionality, communication, and care.
The rest of the disclaimers are in this YouTube video I made called What Dating Will Look Like After Lockdown.
You’re still here? Sweet! Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, whether this information is applicable to you now, or will be when you do choose to date in the future, here it is.
The Five Essentials to a Magnetic Online Dating Profile
Energetic — Before we can even begin to talk about your profile, let’s talk about your energetic blueprint.
Your essence.
We are humans. Skin, body, physicality, yes, but on a deeper level, we are energetic beings.
Are you in tune with your energy?
From your life and relationship experiences, do you know the kind of partner that would be nourishing, uplifting, and complementary to your soul? One that you would be not only compatible with but connected on a deeper level?
Have you reflected on your mistakes, acquainted yourself with your weaknesses, flaws, and shadows, and the part you played in relationships ending or potential relationships fizzling out?
Do you believe deep within that you are worthy of the love you envision? Do you want it and refuse to settle for less?
If you can answer these questions, your future love is on their way to you, it’s truly only a matter of time that your paths cross. You have a great chance of meeting them. Whether it’s online or in person.
And it’s from this energetic frequency that you begin to create your online dating profile.
* I’m so excited for you!*
Authentic — Let me tell you something that’s a little backwards given the title of this article. It’s not about your profile. It’s about your belief in yourself, your inner unshakable confidence, your ability to overcome your fears of being seen, loved, fully accepted, and your vulnerability and ability to step into love.
This authenticity is what makes a great profile. It is also the key to a fun and freeing dating experience and ultimately makes you an amazing partner.
Once you get down to writing your dating profile and curating your photos, ask yourself these questions:
What are my core values?
What do I want in a partner?
How do I express these in 120 characters or less?
Just kidding!
Try not to overwhelm yourself in this process.
Have fun with it!
A good indicator that your profile is authentic is you feel proud of it, you feel no shame or embarrassment from it, you would freely show your closest friend or sibling and they would say “love it, it’s so you!”
Your photos:
Include a clear, well-lit photo showing your face and embodying YOU in your essence and energy.
Upload photos of your genuine interests, people you love and care for, and what you spend your time doing!
Fun Fact: I met my partner on Bumble and he had a number of photos with his family which made it an easy swipe right for me. I met his family for the first time eight months after our first date (We live in CA and they live in NC). I love them, they’re the best, and now we’re all in a group chat.
Your bio:
Write your bio so that it’s fun, descriptive, and positive!
Capture their attention with your words.
Share something real about you.
Put yourself in their shoes and read your profile from the eyes of your dream partner.
Bonus Tip: If you’re bored writing it, chances are, they’ll be bored reading it.
Sticky — The most irresistible thing about a person is dimension. Multi-dimensional like a diamond that shines in the light. That’s what makes the attraction stick. Being one tune, one track, one note, is an easy way to repel someone online or in-person.
Are you kick-ass at your work and truly love what you do? That’s great, but when it comes to dating, love, and attraction, you are not your resume.
Your dating profile is not your LinkedIn profile.
Your date isn’t a job interview.
Funny thing is, when I was dating online when I met my partner, I didn’t include my work information or link my social media on there. I wanted it to be a clean slate, and allow the connection to form from there without any of the assumptions that come with “credentials”.
You get to write the rules. Create your own path towards love. It doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s.
Polarizing — Design your profile so that people will swipe left on you.
I KNOW. That’s crazy right?
What I mean is write it so the person that isn’t for you will actually swipe left or click X.
Story time.
In my 20’s, (I’m 31 now) I had a “first love” experience. The type that shatters your heart when it ends. Well, things didn’t work out between us because I am spiritual and this person was not. We tried to make it work but tears were shed and lessons were learned. After that experience, I basically learned I have to be spiritually aligned with my partner. It’s a lesson you can learn intellectually but if you’re like me, maybe the lesson won’t stick unless you really go for it. No regrets, right? In my dating profiles after that, I always shared something brief about my beliefs (in my own unique playful way <<< this is important). It matters to me and if someone looking at my profile sees it and disagrees, they will swipe left.
See what I mean about polarizing?
It’s an easy way to filter your dating prospects in a sea of profiles.
I don’t know what that thing is for you. It’s different for everyone. Maybe you’re vegan and you realize you absolutely can only date someone who is also vegan. Maybe you have little ones. The list goes on. Be honest with yourself.
But the most important thing to note here is:
It’s not what you say, it’s HOW you say it.
There are ways to communicate things about you or what you would like in a way that would be attractive to someone. It’s an art form, something you learn over time. It shouldn’t come off as baggage, something negative, something undesirable. In fact, it’s the opposite.
Truth: What makes someone swipe left on you, can be the exact reason someone SuperLikes you. That’s your person.
Memorable — If you’re still here, you’re seriously my kind of person! The last quality of a great profile is a memorable one. And to be honest, you don’t have control over this. That’s the beautiful and sometimes painful part of dating. If you’ve followed all the steps above, I promise you your profile will be memorable to your person and they will be praying you message them (Bumble) or they will be drawn to sending you a message.
This is where trust comes into play. Trust that your person is out there. Trust that your time is coming. Have faith in the possibilities of your future.
Love is not a formula. Your heart is resilient above all. Blissful love is possible for you.
Cheering you on like the hopeless romantic I am,
Bianca
If you loved this and want more specifics + “the how”, I wrote a mini book all about this.
If you read this article and thought to yourself, “this is great and all, but this won’t work for me. I’ve been struggling with dating and relationships for YEARS. I’ll probably be alone forever.”
If that’s you, I made this free masterclass exactly for you. Watch it here and gain clarity on the blocks that may be keeping you from the relationship of your dreams.
